Dear Career Coach,

I have a boss who is so aggressive in his behaviour that going to work is becoming a nightmare.

Dear Career Coach

I have a boss who is so aggressive in his behaviour that going to work is becoming a nightmare. I work longer hours than others in my team and meet my targets. But he constantly puts me down and is dismissive of my ideas in front of my colleagues, even though he has used many of them and taken the credit. He will shout when he gets annoyed and can be very intimidating to be around and justifies it by saying that in Sales we have to be aggressive. I am losing my confidence and finding it really hard to stay motivated here. I feel like I would be a failure if I quit but is it worth it to work in these circumstances?

Although it may seem cold comfort, you are not alone. Office bullying seems to be a growing epidemic and studies report that more than 30% of people have witnessed or been affected at one time or another by bullying at work. Unfortunately, that's exactly what your boss is doing and the first thing you must do is recognise this. Bullying can encompass a wide range of behaviours including humiliating someone, intimidating them, belittling their work, applying undue pressure and failing to recognise good work.

Being an enthusiastic Sales Manager does not mean your boss has the right to demean his team members and to use loud and aggressive behaviour. The fact that his behaviour is taking place in the workplace doesn't excuse what we would all find unacceptable behaviour in any other context.

The sad truth is that, whether at work or elsewhere, bullies will do whatever they think they can get away with and if they sense weakness or hesitancy, will target that person. Think about your language and body language when you deal with your boss; being more assertive may make him reconsider using you as his target.

Organisations that do not take steps to address and deal with workplace bullies are risking a lot; from loss of morale and productivity, loss of employees, high stress levels, employee absenteeism to penalties and fines for contravening occupational health and safety.

The good news is that organisations are getting much better at dealing with these kinds of situations and, before deciding to leave, you can try and turn things around by helping your company to help you. As such, it's important that you record what is going on so that you have evidence to support any action the company can take. Documenting what happens will help to show management exactly who is at fault, as bullies can be adept at manipulating situations and trying to divert the blame. Document each incident by including who, what, when, where and any witnesses.

When a situation arises, try to stay calm and don't lose your temper or rise to the bait. You want the situation to be about your boss's actions and not yours. If you need to walk away to avoid a nasty confrontation, you should do so.

With your documented evidence in hand, you will need to report what is going on to more senior management than your boss or to Human Resources. If your company has specific anti-bullying policies, refer to these when you make your report so that it is clear that the company has an obligation to act.

If your company does not support you in your efforts to create a fair and pleasant working environment, you may need to consider cutting your losses and moving on to find a more conducive workplace. While it is not fair that, as the target of bullying, you have to be the one to move from your job, if all else fails, it may be the best option for your own self-esteem and peace of mind.

All the best!