This year has taught me some lessons about life and in the spirit of giving that goes hand-in-hand with Christmas, I thought I'd share.

Well, it's that time again. Another year has passed and alongside the anguished 'where did the time go?' question, it's also when we tend to reflect on what has happened over the past 12 months and, more importantly, what we've learned from it.

This year has taught – and re-taught – me some lessons about life and in the spirit of giving that goes hand in hand with the Christmas season, I thought I'd share.

This lesson, for those of you who pay attention to my columns, is one I spoke about last month in reference to the late Steve Jobs. What I take this lesson to mean is that, trite though it may sound, life is short. The fact that we are going to die should remind us that we don't have infinite time to save for the perfect house, wait for the perfect life, go on the perfect vacation or achieve the perfect body. Because you can't assume you will live forever, or even that you will know the time and way of your passing, it means accepting who you are and what you have and making the most of it, today.

To me, the lesson also speaks to the issue of choice. We can choose to focus on the things that, in the grand scheme of things, are pretty trivial, or give our attention to those things that really matter. One of my personal tools when faced with a stressful situation is to ask myself 'is this is a deathbed memory?' i.e. if it's something that's not likely to trouble me as I take my last breath, then I need to let it go. Knowing we are going to die should remind us not to 'sweat the small stuff'.

As I watched the last episode of the Oprah show earlier this year, I was struck by what Oprah Winfrey was giving up as she walked away from a show that has had unparalleled success for 25 years. By choosing to leave her talk show and to build a new network channel, she was taking a huge and very public risk with respect to her brand and reputation. This new venture comes with no guarantees of success and yet she found the courage to make the move. With more money in the bank than she can spend, this decision was, I imagine, less about generating more personal income than about finding a new challenge and a new way to use her skills.

The lesson for me is that, in order to achieve what you really want, you have to be prepared to take a risk. You have to be brave enough to accept a challenge, perhaps letting go of what comes easily, in order to get what makes life easier. We have all had moments in our lives when we know something isn't working anymore; whether it's a job, a friendship, a relationship or any other number of situations. Knowing when it's time to move on is one thing, having the courage to do so is another. Oprah's decision teaches me that when we grow, we change and that when we change, we grow. After all, if necessity is the mother of invention, perhaps challenge is the father of reinvention.

The turmoil across North Africa this year highlighted another important lesson to me – as I'm sure it did to those presidents and leaders who lost their hold on power and, in some cases, their lives. If you lose the support of your people, you are lost.

This lesson reminds me that at whatever level - be it national, corporate or personal - in the end, it's all about people. The quality of our lives will always come down to how we treat others and the kind of relationships we create. This lesson reminds that nothing beats a good and supportive network of family, friends and colleagues who can rejoice for you or commiserate with you, as required. It reminds me also of the importance of reciprocity and integrity in keeping relationships and the need to give back as well as to receive.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has seen many examples this year of how poor health can put an end to the best laid plans. Good health is not about the ability to fit into those skinny jeans but about regaining mental respect for our bodies and creating a better balance in our lives. Because if the engine isn't working, that lovingly polished car is going nowhere.

What I've learned this year is that having all the money in the world doesn't give you the opportunity to use your talents, if you don't also have good health. Having a healthy body, however, keeps you in the game and gives you a fighting chance to do those things you have always wanted to do. Sometimes the things that impact our health happen through no fault of our own, but there are times when our actions and choices contribute heavily to whatever ails us.

As we enter another boom and bust period of overeating during December followed by self-denial (usually short-lived) in January, it's worth reflecting on the importance of being kinder to our bodies, which are after all the vessels that carry the essence of who we are. This lesson was crystallised for me in the words of Steve Jobs' wife, Laurene Powell, who said, "The body exists to serve the spirit."

The simple lesson of gratitude is probably the most powerful when it comes to how we choose to see our lives and circumstances. We can be upset and resentful about negative experiences or we can be grateful for what those negative experiences teach us. We can focus on what is upsetting us or we can be grateful that we have the strength to deal with it. Counting your blessings may not be your first thought when something goes wrong, but it can be your second thought to make it come right.

In this Christmas season when we may feel under pressure to keep up with the Joneses, Okunlolas, Thiong'os or whomever, it's worth remembering that most of us are lucky enough to have everything we need – everything else is just what we want. Learning to put the focus on what we have, rather than on what we don't have, teaches us to see the world differently.

So in that vein, let me say that although I'm still not giving Bill Gates sleepless nights worrying about the competition, I am deeply grateful for the incredible support I have received this year. My thanks go to my amazing team that helps to make ReConnect Africa happen, to all those that have been of such tremendous support with the publication and promotion of my first book, 'Everyday Heroes' and, of course, to all our loyal readers and subscribers.

I wish you all a happy and peaceful Christmas and a healthy and gratitude-filled New Year!

Author of 'Everyday Heroes – Learning from the Careers of Successful Black Professionals'. Available from www.everyday-heroes.co.uk