Dear Career Coach

I have a real problem with people criticising my work. I get very upset when someone says something negative about me and I've heard that it puts people off from working with me as they think I'm too sensitive. How can I get over this?

No matter how great you are at your job, the truth is that at some point you are going to be on the receiving end of what can sometimes be very tough criticism. From Prime Ministers and pop stars to CEO's and artists, no-one is immune from negative feedback. But while no-one enjoys being criticised, you do have a choice in how you handle what you hear.

If it is received in the right spirit, criticism at work can be a means of generating greater success and an invaluable way to get useful advice and information. While your first reaction may be to feel emotionally wounded by negative feedback, by taking the time to calm down and to really listen to what is being said before reacting, you will be able to respond more rationally and strategically.

Analyse the criticism and be clear about what is factual and what may have been misinterpreted or misunderstood. Ask questions to clarify what your manager or your colleagues are critiquing rather than retreating into a defensive, angry or self-pitying position. By clarifying what has been said, you will be better able to judge whether the criticism is valid or whether you need to correct a wrong impression or perception.

Rather than choosing to see criticism as a personal attack, you can view valid criticism as a means of getting you back on the right track. Remember, it's the action or approach that you took that is being criticised, not you the person, so convert every criticism into an opportunity for personal advancement. We all make mistakes – when your actions are being criticised, remember that YOU are not an idiot; but whatever you did just wasn't the smartest decision you could have made.

If you are willing - and humble enough – to listen to the criticism that is handed out to you and take the time to reinterpret it in a positive way, you will be able to turn negative feedback into invaluable learning, giving you the opportunity to achieve great personal success.

All the best!