Dear Career Coach

I recently applied for a high level promotion but I was not successful. I still believe I was the best person for the job and I feel really angry and discouraged now. I also find it embarrassing as a lot of people knew that I had put myself forward. I don't want to leave my company but I don't know how to deal with this situation. Can you help?

One of the few guarantees we have in life is that at some point we are going to face disappointments, whether in our professional or personal lives.  The true test of our character is in how we choose to deal with them.

Being embarrassed about a missed promotion does not justify walking out of your job and particularly if you have not yet found an alternative that will place you at your desired level.  Rather than sabotage your career, look hard at what happened and why you were not considered suitable or ready for a promotion.  Did you ask for feedback from your manager or the person responsible for the decision?  If you did, have you been able to assess this feedback dispassionately or has your anger and disappointment, as well as your conviction that you were the best candidate, made you unable to see what you could have done better?

Although you feel that you could have made the grade, it is critical that you turn your negative feelings into a positive approach and see this experience as a learning opportunity to assess what the external perception of your capabilities are. By doing so, you can address the gaps between what people think you can do and what is required at the level you were seeking.

There are some proactive steps that you can take to deal with your situation:

Above all, remain positive.  Once you are seen to be dealing with your disappointment in a mature and professional way, you will be a strong contender for future promotions and be better prepared to deal with what your new responsibilities will entail.

All the best!