Dear Career Coach

Yet another male colleague has just been given the lead on a big project which could lead to a promotion, although I have been longer in my department than he has.  I work very hard and deliver, but because I am not as loud or boastful as the men I work with, I seem to be overlooked when it comes to high profile projects.  Should I just give up and leave this place or is it the same everywhere?

One of the biggest misconceptions about what it takes to get ahead at work is that doing a good job and being seen as highly competent is all that matters.

The truth is that, for both men and women, simply doing a good job is often not enough to achieve corporate success.  If you remain invisible, the fruits of your labour can be quickly commandeered by those who speak up and prefer not to let their work speak for itself.

Any good employer should seek to create conditions for all employees to feel valued and rewarded for what they do.  Indeed, without a motivated, inclusive and engaged workforce, it is hard to see how any business can survive in the long-term.

Which brings me to your question.  Sexism exists – of that, there is no question.  Like racism and all other types of prejudice, discrimination against women in the workplace is unfortunately still alive and well.  But, like every ‘ism’ that exists, there are also occasions where it’s less about the gender and more about the person. Even though situations may appear to be obviously solely about race or gender, it’s worth considering if that is wholly – or even partly – the case.

Without wanting to, in any way, blame the victim, your description of your ambitious male colleagues as ‘loud and boastful’ rather than quietly hard-working like yourself, illustrates a general tendency in the different attitudes often displayed by the two sexes towards certain behavioural traits.

What you describe as ‘loud’ can be interpreted in corporate-speak as ‘assertive’.  What you position as ‘boastful’ can be equally described as ‘confident’.  A number of studies, and indeed my own experience of coaching women, has shown that while women are more comfortable with talking about what they have actually done, men are far more likely to claim the ability to do something they know they are capable of doing, whether or not they have yet had the chance to do so.  And, unfortunately – for women at least - as men advance by successfully demonstrating these traits, these are the behaviours that are often seen as the requirements for climbing the corporate ladder, thus keeping men entrenched in the top roles.

Your workplace may well be riddled with sexism and it may indeed be impossible for you to get the same level of recognition as your male colleagues.  On the other hand, before you walk out in anger, you should first ask yourself whether you are doing as much as you can to position these traits in a way that works for you.

This means recognising the need to raise your profile, network internally to make useful connections within and outside your department, communicate your achievements to your boss (and their boss in turn), identify influential champions in your organisation, and demand recognition for your contributions, rather than wait to see who’s noticed.

Without losing your authenticity as a person and as a woman, make every effort to have your skills and achievements recognised by those in key positions of influence and be ready to demonstrate with confidence why you should be in line for the next major project.

And, of course, if all this fails, move on.  It really isn’t the same everywhere.

All the best!