Start the year with a different approach to networking, says Andrena Sawyer

We live in a fast-paced society in which the quest to find the next big thing is, most times, more time-consuming than actually enjoying that thing. Over the last ten years, we have seen that demonstrated best through social media.

There are now over 300 social media sites which not only affect our personal lives, but our professional lives as well. Before there was Facebook, there was Myspace. Before that, there was Bolt. Today, there is LinkedIn - the world's largest professional network. On LinkedIn, one can conduct a random search of any name on the database and you may find hundreds of individuals with carbon copy profiles to the next person on the list.

To those trying to navigate this sometimes daunting influx of new information and platforms, especially those looking for work, my advice is to remember the difference of originality. This is especially important during the networking stage of the job search.  

Those that know me well know that comfort is one of my highest values. Given the choice between the latest designer suit and a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes or a sweatshirt and comfortable footwear, I will go for the sweatshirt and sneakers every single time.

It has not always been like this. In fact, there was a time when I considered throbbing feet a small price to pay for a nice compliment, and envying looks I received from others was enough to massage my ego. However, times have changed, and so have I. Now, my comfort - along with a fondness for mutually beneficial relationships - is among my highest priorities. This is precisely why most networking events that are done in the traditional way annoy me. For anyone who feels the same way, I offer a few pieces of advice. 

My biggest turnoff from most networking events is that, more often than not, people attend with a “scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours” approach. The problem with this approach is that when conversations are based on bartering services alone, the value of relationship, the dignity of the cause, and the face of humanity gets lost.

Of course, there are some that proactively work against this. Whenever I attend a networking event, I am so much more interested in giving my contact information to someone that I can share a cup of coffee with while discussing more than what they can get from me. This is where the difference of originality comes in.

A childhood classic, The Velveteen Rabbit, gives a great illustration of the power of the difference of originality.

In one of the most poignant parts of the small book, the rabbit inquires about the process of being “Real.” To which his friend, Skin Horse, responds, “…It doesn’t happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

The difficulty of originality, or being “real”, is that not everyone will understand it. Much like not everyone will understand your passion, sense of humour, dream, or my preference for sneakers over Jimmy Choo shoes. Do not allow that to make you shrink back from showing who you really are and what you bring to the proverbial table.

The beauty in being yourself is in the possibility for real connections with people who actually get it, whatever “it” is. Much like networking is supposed to be about creating relationships that do more than exploit other’s resources, so should our everyday lives be.

The best networkers understand that relationships are built on a good foundation that may result in future collaborations. However, the best opportunities almost always come as a result of solid relationship foundations. If this has not been your approach in the past, it is never too late. As a new year begins, consider adding developing this skill to your list of New Year's Resolutions.