I recently had an epiphany. Life is short. Now before you roll your eyes and wonder how that overused phrase can move anyone, just stop for a moment and say that phrase three times. But don’t just say the words, each time emphasise a different word and each time really think about what you are saying.

Scary, isn’t it? So, life is short. Now we all know that. But what does that mean for you and for me, and what are we going to do about it?

For me, the epiphany was that it was the first time I really understood what those words mean, that is to say, that I really don’t have a lot of time to do what I want and to live the life I want if I don’t do it right now.

What do You Want?

One of the toughest questions we all have to ask ourselves is, on the face of it, quite simple: what do you want?

Now, I don’t know about you, but I’ve always found it far easier to say what I don’t want than to articulate what I do. And therein lies the problem. If we are not clear about what we are striving towards, about what will give us satisfaction and contentment, we will continue to succeed in not getting it.

But if, as we now accept after that little exercise, life is short, do we really have the time to continue wasting in a fog of indecision and unclear thinking?

What do you dream about and what challenges you? These are two more questions that we can use to help us determine what we want. Okay, I’ll go first. From when I was old enough to know what it meant, I knew I wanted to be a writer. What challenged me was the fear of trying and not succeeding or of trying and not being good enough. Of course, those weren’t the excuses I put forward to myself; it was far easier to blame the demands of work, family life, and indeed any other ‘priority’ that I could dream up.

I know I’m not alone in this as I constantly meet people who tell me that they would like to write a book but find the idea fearful. Indeed, as Paul Coelho wrote in The Pilgrimage, “Have pity on those who are fearful of taking up a pen, or a paintbrush, or an instrument, or a tool because they are afraid that someone has already done so better than they could…”

So I’m happy to report that I’ve managed to shift that roadblock and finally, I’ve succeed in doing what I’ve always wanted to do: publish a novel.

Recognising Your Roadblocks

As an Executive Coach, my job is to help my clients identify the roadblocks between where they stand and where they want to be and to encourage them to clarify their goals and motivations, and evaluate their strengths and weaknesses. It can also involve working with a client to identify the causes and triggers for their behaviour. This helps to bring to the surface a greater awareness of what they fear or hide from themselves and helps them to have the courage to answer the questions ‘What do I want, and what challenges me?’

What they often find out – as I did – is that what usually challenges us is no-one or nothing else but ourselves. Quite often, it’s not about finding the courage to undertake the job we think we should be doing or leaving the job or person that isn’t serving us, it’s the dread of being wrong or, sometimes, the fear of being right. The real challenge is declaring that truth and facing it head-on.

Yet there is no question that the fear of failure is a powerful one and many wise and successful people have spoken about overcoming it. To my mind the one that resonates most, particularly given my epiphany, is what Steve Jobs once said: "Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important."

Ironically, the fear of getting what you want can be equally powerful. Think about the times you have sabotaged something just as it appears within your grasp; when your mind tells you that getting what you want might be more than you deserve or more than you can deal with?

Opportunity Knocks

But, life is short. Ultimately if you never give yourself the chance to get what you want, you will have squandered a precious opportunity. So if you don’t move the roadblock of yourself from your path to success now, when will you? If you don’t seize that opportunity to get what you want now, when will you?

However, opportunity without preparation is wasted. You have to know what you want and prepare for it; you have to put in the work and be ready for when that opportunity comes, so that you can seize it with both hands and live the life you want - whether short or long.

As I once read somewhere, ‘When your ship comes in, make sure you are not at the airport!’

Author of the novel ‘ From Pasta to Pigfoot’ http://www.amazon.co.uk/Pasta-Pigfoot-Frances-Mensah-Williams/dp/1909762202 and the books ‘I Want to Work in… Africa: How to Move Your Career to the World’s Most Exciting Continent’ (www.IWanttoWorkinAfrica.com) and ‘Everyday Heroes – Learning from the Careers of Successful Black Professionals’ (www.everyday-heroes.co.uk)