Dear Career Coach

My boss is a workaholic and works really long hours. I don't mind working late but I am fed up with being sent out all the time to pick up her dry cleaning, buy her designer coffee and sort out her private life. I am getting very frustrated with being treated like a social secretary instead of a professional executive assistant. Her last assistant left because she felt exploited and I feel I am just wasting my time. The trouble is she is actually brilliant at her job and I could learn a lot from her if she let me. Should I resign or is this what people are expected to put up with before they can get ahead?

Paula

There's a fine balance between being supportive to your boss and becoming her personal lackey. On one hand, as an executive assistant, your job is to support your boss and 'assist' her to get her job done. While this shouldn't mean that you become her housekeeper, it does imply that you show some flexibility in the tasks that you are prepared to do.

Sometimes, though, star performers like your boss can get away with effectively bullying their staff into stepping outside their professional boundaries, if they are not called up on it. It may sound obvious but does your boss know that she is being excessively demanding or has no-one ever had the courage to complain about it? If nobody has actually raised the issue, she may believe that what she's doing is perfectly acceptable and maybe even the way she came up through the ranks.

When you are asked to get her dry cleaning, point out that the urgent report she is waiting for will now have to wait until the next day. Negotiate any time she wants you to spend on personal issues with tasks that you have to get done at work, so you are not working overtime just to accommodate her external needs.

Before you put your resignation letter together, create an opportunity to have a quiet word with her and explain that while you are happy to work late and help her out occasionally with her private issues, the frequent personal errands are stopping you from getting the priority work done. Point out that she hired you for your skills and potential and that you are not being given the opportunity to put these to work for her in the best way for you both.

Show your willingness to get involved in supporting her with business and remind her that you frequently work late to help her get things done.

If she is aware of all this but still thinks your needs are less important than her non-work requirements, it's time to start looking for a new role with someone who is both brilliant at their job AND prepared to spend time developing your skills.

All the best!